Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Hadley is Dead





He was cold when we found him yesterday. I don't remember if we definitely played with him the night before or just two nights ago. I hope it was the night before.

Both Hadley and his brother have suffered from mycoplasma--the most common rat disease, a respiratory infection, similar to a chronic common cold in symptoms--all their lives. Hadley always had it worse, constantly wheezing and having a few sneezing fits now and then. Nevertheless, until recently, I couldn't be convinced it was mycoplasma though, because both rats' breathing sounded fine and they were both endlessly energetic. I suspected it was just a strange rat noise or something, because they were both strange rats indeed. Nothing seemed wrong for almost two whole years--until Hadley stopped eating.

I feel terrible thinking if I'd been more worried, all it would have taken was a trip to the vet to get a check-up and some benadryl and everything would be okay. (That being said, Quibble is gonna have to go to the vet as soon as possible to make sure nothing ever goes so wrong so fast with him. He is sounding much squeakier than usual.)













I will miss being able to make squeaky kissy noises only to find a rat at my feet within seconds, curious to investigate the source of the exciting rat-like sound. I will miss him climbing up to my shoulder and patiently waiting for me to turn my head to him so he could lick my lips and try to pry open my mouth. I will miss him sticking his curious nose inside my ear and sniffing around, and the way his whiskers tickled all over.



But I think Quibble will miss him most of all. I've had a few pairs of rats in my life and never before have I known two male ratties to get along so well. Absolutely no squabbles, no fights to settle dominance. They played, quite gently actually, but never fought. They snuggled together in their hammock and slept on top of each other, even throughout the hot summer. Neither of them were neutered. It was a remarkable relationship. I don't know how I'll ever be able to fill the hole Hadley left for Quibble, but I'm going to try and I'm gonna play with him as much as I can and let him perch on my shoulder as much as he wants whenever I'm home.



Goodnight, sweet Hadley. We love you more than we ever proved, and I am so sorry for that.

27 comments:

  1. Oh no, that really makes me sad :( You, Silkworm and of course Quibble have my heartfelt sympathy! :(
    Nevertheless I think that Hadley has had the most amazing of all rat- owners! I'm sure he's had the best possible life.

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    1. Thank you very very much. :) Perhaps Hadley didn't have such an amazing human, but I have a second chance to be that amazing human to Quibble and I'm not about to throw that away feeling like I feel now.

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  2. I'm sorry for your loss! Those pictures are too cute, it's great that you have all these to remember Hadley by :)

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    1. Thank you. :) I will always cherish my passion for photography for giving me tangible memories like these.

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  3. My eyes welled up reading that. I'm so sorry he's gone but I'm sure he has had the best life a rat can have.I love all the photos of him and Quibble, so cute! xx

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    1. I wish I could say he did and that I was such a good human to my ratties, but I know it's not true. I'm going to be a good human for Quibble, though. I have to. And I'm so sorry to Hadley for not doing something better sooner.

      Thank you. ♥

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  4. I'm so sorry for your loss, sweet Carly and Silkworm. We are all in the process of growing and changing and learning and loving. Sending thoughts of peace your way.

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  5. Oh no! Rest in peace sweet Hadley! I know how you must feel, I felt horrible after my cat died thinking of all the things I could've done better for him. Try not to think about it too much xx

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    1. Thank you, Erin. ♥ I think it's getting to me so strongly this time because it seems to sum up the theme of my whole life lately. I know exactly who I want to be and what I want to do and how to make things better for myself and everything and everyone in my life, but I'm not doing anything about it. I promised myself I'd be such a good human to my ratties this time and I didn't do anything good or special for them at all. I'm not going to let Hadley's death not mean something and serve to make a change. I'm going to do things differently, now.

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  6. Oh no! That is horrible. It is the worst when a pet dies. :(
    Amy xx

    Perfect Imperfections

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  7. The pictures are really cute; however, I'm deeply sorry for your loss :( I hope you're coping well!

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    1. Thank you. I'll be okay. I think he was my wake up call and I will be forever grateful to him for that. :)

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  8. Carly :( This post was beautiful. The photo in black and white with Silkworm is gorgeous.
    Rest in Peace Hadley, I hope there are lots of snacks in heaven :3

    You are such a special soul Carly, I often think you might have been a furry friend in a past life or something :)
    xx

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    1. Thank you Meg. That photo always reminds me of cheesy black and white photos from the 1900's (is that right?) where everyone dressed up and stood against a backdrop and looked all solemn and what not. :)

      (I wonder the very same thing quite often!)

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  9. oh my gosh! i'm so sorry! this post makes my heart ache. that little forlorn darling wrapped in death and golden leaves. such a dear. i do love your pictures with them though.
    best wishes

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    1. Thank you Abigail. I'm so happy to have those photos of both my boys. :) Neither of them were ever good at staying still for the camera, but Hadley was definitely the easier-going rattie. ♥

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  10. awww so sad, super sorry to hear about Hadley *bigs hugs to you guys and Quibble* so nice you have all these photos to remember him with and I'm sure Quibble will appreciate all your extra love :) Don't be too hard on yourself - it's impossible for any of us to be perfect!

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  11. Sorry to hear about Hadley, really sorry Carly! These photo memories of him are precious. A warm hug to you and Quibble, whom I am picturing on your shoulder right now ♥

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    1. Thank you. :) Quibble isn't on my shoulder at this very moment, but he is indeed running around my room! Now he's on my thigh inspecting my typing hands. ZzzzzzzzzzzzM(K ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]7;;;;;;;; That's a message from him. I wish I could insert video into comments because now he's prancing around with a wrapper in his mouth all happy with himself and he looks hilarious. Anyhow, thank you again, your condolences meant a lot. ♥

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  12. I'm so, so sorry for your loss, Carly, Silkworm, and Quibble. This is such a moving post, and such a beautiful tribute to Hadley, who I'm sure will always hold a special place in all of your hearts.

    Goodnight, Hadley. Rest in peace. ♥

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    1. Thank you, Kat. <3 Ohh the word tribute makes me think of montages and I'm thinking I need to take more videos of Quibble because gosh the things those ratties did/do are hilarious and I need that on film.

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  13. :( Oh, Carly. I'm so sorry to hear you lost him. I don't even know how to deal with losing pets. I hope you've taken care of yourself this weekend and that you're spending time with Quibble. <3 Sending love.

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    1. Thank you Mary. I don't ever know how to deal with losing any living creature. It's nice to have Quibble to keep me company, though. :)

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  14. Oh this makes me so sad. I'm so sorry for your loss. TT i hate it when our pets get sick.. i wish they could talk so they can let me know what is wrong.. sending you my thoughts and love. rest in peace Hadley~~ and i love that you have rats. i feel like they are so misunderstood. a majority of my friends freak out when they see a rat or a mouse but i think they are so adorable. their little hands, nose and mouth. <3

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    1. Thank you Jane. :) I know, I wish pets could speak up if only to tell us what's wrong or why they're whining or how they're feeling. (Is it weird I often wonder if my pets might have headaches? Like, we'd never know this stuff!) And I cannot wait for the day rats and mice become as acceptable as hamsters. Seriously, the tail is the only major difference and there are such things as tailless rats and rats are flippin' cute as fudge and way smarter and more affectionate than hamsters. ♥

      I hope Piri is doing well. Sending lots of love and well wishes to you guys and him!

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